February 10th was our regularly scheduled fetal well-being ultrasound--the one where most people learn if they're having a boy or a girl. I was 19 weeks at the time, and since we didn't plan on finding out the gender, we down-played the whole thing. I'm not sure many of our friends or family members knew we were even having an ultrasound. That turned out to be an unexpected blessing.
It was a long appointment. The tech took a long time. The wait for the doctor took a long time. The doctor's scanning took a long time. And then Time did some funky shifting when she gently said, "I'm really sorry, but your baby has a heart defect."
It was hard to hear anything after that.
The doctor traded places with the genetic counselor and the intern. They did a full family medical history, gave us a basic description of the preliminary diagnosis, discussed the possible causes of the defect, and gave us a choice to terminate the pregnancy. After we declined that choice, they explained what needed to happen next: lots of patience.
No firm diagnosis could be given except by a pediatric cardiologist after a fetal echocardiogram test at Primary Children's hospital. None of this could happen until the baby and its heart grew bigger. We had 5 weeks to wait.
With no answers ourselves, we decided to put off telling family and friends until we knew more. I guess that's what brings us to today and the creation of this blog. It's time to fill everyone in on the details:
Our baby has a heart defect.
When Pete told me a few days ago my heart just broke for you. I know you will be great parents to this special child who is coming into your lives. I know there's really not much we can do or say (though we are organ donors and I never really thought about it for my children, but I definitely would), but know we are thinking of you and praying for your family through this difficult time. And really if you guys ever need anything, let us know!
ReplyDeleteThere's a woman's blog I read Who has a son with this same heart defect. I think he just turned a year old. She has a very thoughtful and natural approach to parenting, and I think you could gain some comfort from reading her journey.
http://sewliberated.typepad.com/sew_liberated/hlhs/